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All is well in the world of Mom.  We are incredibly busy right now in the midst of preperations for the Christmas holiday.  Personal tasks combined with my crazy work project, have left me little time to post and read my favorite blogs.

I think back to this post: 99 Days Until Christmas and wonder where the time went?  Now we have 5 days left, and I’m trying to enjoy each day to it’s fullest.

We normally mail our Christmas cards during the first week of December, but we were a little late this year.  At least they went out!

Mr. Martha Stewart Dad, loves to embellish our cards with sealing wax imprinted with our last initial - “P”.  This year, he used a green and gold wax and it turned out beautiful…here is a pic:

Last week I baked up a storm and mailed a goodie box to each of my co-workers. They love the Christmas snacks and I really enjoy doing this for them.

Well, I’m off to do a quick conference call and then have lunch.

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Part II

Yesterday, in Part I of How To Cope When You Don’t Love Your Job, I wrote the story of the job I despised.

There is a quote by Confucius that I admire:

“Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.”

How simple and true.

What happens if you are stuck in a job you don’t love?

If you’ve decided that it simply will not work, you need to develop mental fortitude to survive until you land a new job.

Here are 6 ways to cope:

Breathe. When things get stressful, take a break and go outside. Do nothing but breathe. Breathing is something we can instantly control and can help us relax and reduce stress.

Laugh…often. Scientists believe that laughter reduces stress hormones. Humor can also change your perspective and help you see your problem in a different light. I would take my manager’s grade-school euphemisms (play nice, boys will be boys) and say these at home with Dad for a laugh. My Dilbert cartoon of the day also helped!

Talk it out. Find a friend and blow off some steam. Not only does it feel better, often times you’ll learn that your friend has had similar experiences and can offer advice.

Get a Life. Spend time outside of work doing something you love. If you don’t already have a hobby, get one! Give yourself something to look forward to at the end of the day.

Eat Well, Sleep, and Exercise. It may sound like a simple suggestion but it is vital to take care of yourself. Stressful job situations can affect your mental and physical health. By keeping your body healthy, you can better deal with external stressors and keep your mind healthy too.

Remember it’s only temporary. When you are in a job that makes you miserable, it’s easy to fall into negative thinking and believe things will never change. Change this mindset! Focus on your job hunt and remind yourself that this isn’t a permanent situation.

A lousy job can seem like a life sentence. The key to surviving is to realize that YOU are ultimately in control of how you feel.

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Part I

Once upon a time, I worked at a job I despised.

Unfortunately, I left a job I loved for the bad one.

I had a few years of experience behind me, won accolades at my previous job, and decided to broaden my horizons.

It was the mid-90’s in tech, and it was time to make more money.

For several days, it felt like I was born under a lucky star. My interviews went smashingly well and I was hired at an amazing billion-dollar company, for almost double the salary.

Although I was sad to leave my current employer, I was excited about this new opportunity.

Fast forward a few weeks…I soon realized that I had two things going against me.

1. I was female
2. I was hired from the outside

When you read #1, you probably thought “C’mon? Maybe in the 1950’s, surely not in the 1990’s!”

Sadly, it was true.

I work in a highly male-dominated field and encountered resistance from my male co-workers. My technical opinions were second-guessed (and repeatedly I was proven correct). Poor management compounded this problem as well…”Boys will be boys” is what my manager told me.

The company also had a long history of promoting from within. Concerning my position, there simply wasn’t anyone technically qualified for the job, so the company was forced to hire from the outside. This caused ambivalent feelings toward me as well.

It was near impossible to be productive when your team was busy arguing about whom was right and wrong.

I consulted with a friend (also my career mentor) who advised to approach my manager. Great advice, but that got me nowhere fast. Remember the “boys will be boys” comment? Yeah, well he took the team out to lunch and said we were like “his kids” and he wanted us “to play nice in the sandbox”. I was stunned by this display of effective leadership!

A few weeks later, I decided to talk to the HR Director, who was sympathetic but wasn’t able to offer any concrete help. I later learned he and my manager went “way back” and they were golfing buds.

Day after day, I grudgingly went into work, and fought my battles. I was young and felt I could tough it out. However, what was once exciting work turned into a never-ending task list, as I “battled” with co-workers on how to get things done.

Some days, I would pull into my parking space, turn off my car, hang my head down and pray:

“Please give me strength to deal with the mind-melting minutiae one more day.”

Dad and the kids noticed mom wasn’t so much fun to be around anymore. When you loathe the place you’re at for 8-10 hours a day, it is difficult to be a shiny happy person. Especially when you realize it starts all over again the next day.

I decided that no job was worth being unhappy over, and I needed to move on.

Through “networking” (as in personal, not the IT variety) I landed my first consulting gig a few months later. Things were happy again. My only regret is that I did not quit sooner.

So what do you do if you are stuck in a job you don’t love?

Tomorrow, I will post 6 tips that can help you cope.

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